Which list are you thinking about? People tend to think in lists—meaning they think of one thing that leads to another, and then another. Now you have a list. For example:

     “I can’t pay my car payment, oh, or my credit card and I can’t even pay my student loan.” You just made a list of bills you can’t pay. You are dwelling on that list. 

     Here is another list: “I’m not good at this job. I wasn’t good at my last job. I’ll never be good at any job.” 

     You just made a list of jobs you aren’t good at. I call this list the “trifecta-never” list. It’s the most devastating list, because you are lying to yourself about the past, present, and the future. How horrible? How common? 

     Here is the world’s most common trifecta-never list: “I’m not happy in my relationship. My last relationship didn’t work out. I’ll never find the right person.” You just made a list of relationships that will never work out. And you are dwelling on that negative list. You are dwelling on lies. The relationship that works is the relationship you work on. 

     Dwell on the right list. Put a rubber band around your wrist, and when you start thinking about the trifecta-never list, snap that rubber band and start thinking about a list that is true and positive. 

     Try thinking about this list: You’ve made it through tough times in the past, you will make it through this, you will always be able to make it through tough times. 

     Think about this list. You are going to pay off those bills, you will have a roof over your head, and you will have the things you dream about. You are going to have to work hard, be honest, and you are going to feel the pain—but you can overcome it. 
It is good to think about the things you can do, but you don’t want to be the hopelessly optimistic guy who talks about what he going to do. That guy is annoying. 

     That is why it’s important to implement the behaviors you need in order to get where you want to go. The right list is something like: I will work hard enough to achieve my goals. I’ll make enough dials to make my sales. I’ll overcome objections to close enough deals to get my commission check. 

     I’m not a psychologist, but I know this is true—if you don’t fill your mind with the right list, you mind will automatically fill your thoughts with the wrong list. It’s human nature. Our minds trick us into being our lesser self. It’s the enemy within we must all conquer. It’s the battle your competition isn’t winning right now.
But you will.

     Which list are you thinking about? Dwell on the right list, right now. 

 
     There are four words that can be used to cut the stress of sales from your job and from your life. I’m not saying you won’t have stress in a sales job, but let me put it this way: how much fat can you cut off a steak with a knife? All of it. Do you have to have a knife to get the fat off that steak? No. But it’s a lot easier with a knife. These words are a tool; they are a knife. You can wait to use this tool, or you can use it right away. The more you use these words, the more effective they will be. 

     And those words are: “On to the next.” 

     I got hung up on. On to the next. 

     My commission check wasn’t as big as I thought. On to the next. 
     
     My appointment didn’t show up. On to the next. 
Some co-workers are in the habit of sharing their rejection with the group. They need to be trained to move, “on to the next.” Don’t be the guy that spreads negativity. Be the guy who is on to the next. 

     You can move on to the next in two days or two seconds. The more time you waste dwelling on the problem, the less time you have to make the next deal happen. So—get on it. On to the next. 

            There is one attitude that is intoxicating, magnetic and I find myself irresistibly drawn to. It is a character trait I try to emulate and phrase I wish I could go back in time and tell my-self to say as much as possible. It is the quality I look for in a friend, co-worker, boss, acquaintance, student, pier, performer, even a party go-er. That phrase or  “I’m in.” I’m always looking for the, “I’m in,” people. 
            These are the people that are down for anything, ready to go, no questions asked, no judgment. No matter what, they’ll say, “I’m in.” For example:
            Q: Hey do you want to go to a concert?
            A: I’m in. Never heard of the band. I’m in.
            Q: Hey, do you want to go on a road trip to Albuquerque? 
            A: I’m in. I know nothing about Albuquerque. I’m in. 
            Q: Hey, do you want to do an underwater scuba death crawl?
            A: I’m in. Sounds like I’m going to die. I’m in. 
            The, “I’m in” people are friendly, fun, fun to be around, party people, people people, doers, go getters, animals, wrestles, engaging, and gregarious. I want you to be one of the, “I’m in-ers.” I want you to be one of the, “I’m in” people. 
           “I’m in” means all in. It means saying no to absolutely everything else. "I’m in" means saying, "no," to your family, friends, your impulses, distractions, your minute to minute emotions, your own thoughts talking you out of being IN. “I’m in” means you will stay up 100 hours in a row to get the job done. It means you will not eat, don't take breaks, don't give up no matter what, until the mission is accomplished. 
            Why would you want to live any other way? 
            If you are comfortable with anything less you are still guarding your heart, protecting yourself instead of giving kindness, love and friendship. You aren't letting yourself open up. You aren't letting people, experiences, discomfort, vulnerability in. Saying, "I'm in" takes strength and courage, it comes from a place of fulfillment and stability. If you aren't at that place - get there, even if it means, forgive, let go of a pain, let go of hate, let go of biases, let go of loss, and hurt. Let yourself heal and grow by replacing those felling with love and peace and meekness and humility. 
            Find one thing that easy and safe to say, "I'm in" to and and then add something else riskier to be in on. Keep building until there is nothing you can't say, "I'm in" to. 
            Maybe you haven’t found something worth putting everything you’ve got into. IF that is the case, next order of business is to put together an all out search for that thing. Put yourself in all-out-exploration mode. Read, watch videos, search, travel, learn, explore, get out there, be uncomfortable, try as may things as possible. Make a blank list number 1-10 and fill it up everyday with something you tried. It will be worth the all out search to find that thing you wan to do, to find the group you want to be a part of, or the community you want to be all in with. 
            When you find that thing, commit. Commitment brings  focus and energy. Energy comes from doing. If you don’t have energy you don't need a Redbull, you need to start doing. Search and find, find and commit, commit and do. Say, "I'm in."
            As we all know, once you do commit, you are doing, you are fighting, to do something to be apart of something, every force in the universe will try to stop you. Every voice will tell you it’s a bad idea. Your family will tell you it’s a bad idea, your friends, the news, every thing on earth will shout at you to stop.
            To be an, “I’m in” person you have to hear all those voices and SCREAM back, “You know what, just because you are wrong for so many reasons doesn’t mean you should keep talking! Shut up world. Silence them with your actions.” Being an, “I’m in” person doesn’t mean you won’t hear those voices. If you aren’t hearing those voices it’s because you aren’t doing anything. To be an, “I’m in” personality means you will hear the voices, feel it their impact, and shout back ten times louder that the rest of the world is wrong and you are more “in” because they said not to. It means saying, "I’m in" because I was told I can’t. It means saying “I’m in” in spite of the negative voices. It means saying “I’m in” even more just because, even if there is no reason. It means saying, “I’m in” no matter what and nothing, no force, no act of evil, no threat of death, no physical barrier - nothing will stop me. “I’M IN!” 
            How you do what you do in life is what matters. It’s not so much about what you do. Let me say it again, it’s not about what you do in life. “How” matters. So, whatever you do make it fun. Whatever you are doing, I’m in. If you are in then you are an Outliar.  
 

            Sometimes you must create your own ownership. You want to get something done and you look around to see who is going to help? Who is going to get that thing done? Who is going to get me that car, dream job, that raise, the house, or the vacation? Who is going to do that? The answer is two words. I AM. I’m going to do it. I am. 
            “I AM,” is an attitude. This is a confidence. This is a mantra. This is a way of life. This is a peace. I AM. 
            It's not the top of the mountain. This is not self-actualization. This is the start. This is the beginning. This is freedom. I AM. 
            I AM going to run the race.
            I AM going to win.
            I AM going to pay the bills.
            I AM going to write the book.
            I AM going to keep going when everyone else quits.
            I AM going to work when everyone else takes the easy check.
            I AM going to create the life I want. 
            I AM going to stay focused when the world becomes scattered. 
            I AM going to find peace when there is no reason to be at peace.
            I AM going to find a way. 
            I AM. 
 

 
 
            How hard would I work if I knew that what I was working on would make me $100 million dollars after 10 years? There’s a long list of things I wouldn’t do in that ten-year period. I wouldn’t take breaks. I wouldn’t stop to eat. I wouldn’t complaint, sulk or gripe. I wouldn’t even sleep unless I had to. But this isn’t about what I wouldn’t do. This is about what I would do.
            I know if I was going to make $100 million dollars I would find a way to get the job done. I would work 20 hours per day. I would cut out everything that wasn’t helping me get things done. I’d find a way. 
            I’ve had those moments, seasons, stretches of reaching my highest potential - where I was $100 million motivated. I’ve had a few good runs. 
            When I was at my best I was consistently creating my $100 million self-motivation first thing in the morning and keeping that motivation all day. I was an unstoppable machine.          
            But I’m flawed. Something comes along and steals away my motivation. Maybe bills get too high and I get discouraged. I tell my-self, it’s not worth it. A career track gets disrupted and I feel like I’m starting over -again. I see someone else who didn’t try as hard, get way ahead, because they were talented or connected. I see the hate in the world and it seems pointless to try to combat that level of disruption. Sometimes I just screw something up and my self-doubt creeps in reminding me of all the things I did wrong in the past. Or I’ll work myself into exhaustion and then take a break. That break feels really good. By taking a break I did myself a disservice. I now have to choose between feeling relaxed and getting back to work, meaning long hours and almost no sleep. By taking a break I’ve created an obstacle for myself to overcome. I have to ask my-self, do I need to be uncomfortable all the time, exhausted all the time, worked to my limit, all the time just to get one step from where I’m at? Yes. That’s exactly what I said in the first paragraph. 
            I’m tired of seeing a motivational video and feeling good for a few days. I’m tired of getting myself pumped up again only to let myself down a few days, weeks or month later. I’m tired of grinding away at something that never pays off. I’m tired of counting on other people and having them let me down. I’m tired of looking at my notebook from last year with all my goals. The easy goals are done but the hard ones didn’t get done. I didn’t delegate, I wasn’t influential enough, I wasn’t…something. 
            Here's the thing. I know I have it in me. I know I can get there. I know I can be the kindest, most focused, most productive person even when I’m at my limit. I know I can be at my best when I’m in my worst condition. I know I can. Who is going to make it happen? I AM. I’m in. 
 

          When I was in college I remember getting the worst depression and for no reason that I can think of. I remember going to my parents for help and not getting the answers I needed. So I set out to find answers on my own these are the answers I found: New music, read a good book, talk to a cute girl, create something, exercise, and road trips. 
          New music is an instant cure for depression. I don’t know why that is. Depressing music is a sure cause.  I wish I had never heard of the band Coldplay and Counting Crows even though I love their music. That music stole a few years of my life. To this day I’m careful not to listen to that stuff too much. I spent a good two years waisted in a shallow sadness. But I worked my way out of it. Today I use music to ramp up into energetic happiness.  I’ll start with a slow song, Yellow, and move onto Talk and Clocks. Then I switch to another band and turn off the Cold Play. I’ll put a little 311 on. If I do it right I’m listening to remixes in no time and I’m back in the game. 
          I remember shuffling my feet around Zia’s used CD store for hours before I would just go to the just in bin, pull out 3 Ben Folds CD’s and go home. Whatever price you have to pay for the right music to get you out of a funk, pay it. It’s worth it. I’m so grateful for Itunes. It lowered my musical medical bill significantly. 
          Read a good book. The first thing you should read is the first 50 pages of Evelyn Woods “7 Day Speed Reading Course.” You may never read 700 pages a minute, but you will be able to finish a book without feeling over whelmed. 
          I remember reading a Tom Browkow’s “The Greatest Generation.” One of the stories is about a guy who comes home from the war, gets a job and in his free time he starts a baseball league for kids called “Little League.” At the time I read this book I was finishing my sophomore year of college, I didn’t know it at the time but I had three and half more years to go, and I was feeling the anxiety of having to get a job. I thought life is over after you get a job. But after I read that it occurred to me that you can have a job and do other things in life as well. It was real eye opener. I’ve loved reading ever since then.
          Talk to a cute girl. You can’t be too unhappy if you are talking to a cute girl. Most of the time when you are not happy, as a guy, it’s because you aren’t talking to a cute girl. A little felmale attention goes a long ways. Life seems much harder if you don’t have a girl to take care of. But if you do have your girl, everything else seems to fall into place. 
Create something. I can be having the worst day, week, month, seasonal slump but if I write a joke or an essay or a sketch it makes my day. If I post a blog and post it I feel better. If someone likes it all the better. Creating something feels good. It feels powerful. It feels nice. 
          Exercise. There is something that can snap you out of a slump by going to the gym and running on the treadmill five minutes longer than you could before. There is something empowering about lifting five more pounds than you did last time. It’s addictive and I understand why people become body builders. It feels good. Achievement of a goal is a depression killer. I got that from Colon Powel’s book. He said, “We must teach our children to achieve.” He was right. Achievement feels incredible. 
          ROAD TRIP. At least once every six months I recommend an unplanned, no reason, no destination road trip. One Friday afternoon you’ll leave work and head home. But don’t go home. Go to the beach instead. Get a drive through dinner and keep driving. You don’t need clothes, you don’t need a hotel, you don’t need a plan. They have clothes there. Besides how much does a swimming suit and sandals cost. I’ve gotten so good at this that I have a bag in my trunk at all times with a swimming suit, sandals and sunscreen. Sometimes just the smell of the sunscreen is enough to make forget about my problems for a while. Sedona has a special place in my heart because on several occasions I ended up there on a whim. It keeps you sane. 
          These are the things that worked for me. If one person reads thing and it helps them to escape the depression I remember it would mean the world to me. I hope you never feel that way.